I wish you knew me before losing the most influential person in my life, my sister and then maybe you would have stuck around to actually know me and know me more than a surface level.
Death changes you. Especially your best friend and sister. Maybe if you had known me before that trauma… you wouldn’t have left at the drop of a hat. Simply because I’m “struggling” and maybe “need” people who will be there longer than a few weeks
I miss you so much
Words cant ever explain or put into a way where people understand. I may have had 8 years to “prepare” but it never prepares you for losing the one person you thought would out live you.
I will never wish this type of pain on anyone. I will never wish someone losing someone you thought you’d grow old with. Who you grew up watching ‘home videos’ singing to you when you were literally HOURS old… I pray every second of every day that if a you have a half sibling, full sibling or step sibling… that you make amends with them NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. No MATTER what they’ve done or not done. I wish you have the siblings God brought to you no matter how many years differ between your ages. No matter how much you may or may not have been in each other’s lives. It doesn’t even MATTER. What MATTERS is what choice you make from this moment on. What matters is what you fix between now and the second you leave this earth. If I had been told this advice 8 YEARS AGO, I would have strived every second, of every day to be my sister, Gidget Redmond’s best friend and every thing she ever DREAMED OF as a sister. I would take back every fight we ever had if it meant I had my sister for a little bit longer. Please dear GOD reconcile with those who might be estranged from you. You never know when they will be gone. And you will forever be broken and regret what you COULD have had with your relatives. I miss you so f*cking much big sister. I will never be able to cry enough or try enough to get through to those around me just how much family MEANS. I cannot even comprehend or put into words how much it should mean to everyone who sees this. If I could go back and change everything, I WOULD if it meant having my sister back for a little bit longer to remind her of every second of every day how much she means to me. Please dear god don’t make the same mistake I did for 25 years and take advantage of those in your life. It hurts so F*CKING BAD not living with your sibling who would have taken a damn BULLET for you. I’m so tired of hurting. I’m so tired of wishing and wondering. God I fucking MISS YOU.
Fearfully & Wonderfully Brave 